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Christmas

Ah-hiiiiii-uh...a-Hiiiiiiii-uh.... so BLUE!!!!

This is by far the most un-inspired Christmas for me. I followed lists to a t. I didn't shop for days for people. I wasn't hit by strokes of genius while watching TV. Nothing. I am sending out the lamest gifts this year, and hate myself for it. The one exception is Brandy and I hope my Shafer grab. Everyone else either knows what they are getting, or are just getting what they asked for. Blech. I hate this. I have had so little time and have been so exhausted that I finally gave up and just started buying things. Oh well, perhaps this will be the year that I get the cool rather than give the cool things.

I already got my first cool gift. A digital photo keychain. Cooollll!!!!

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random thoughts

It is so hard to get into the Christmas season down here. It was about 85 degrees today and humid. Even the turkey and stuffing sandwich can't help this funk. I even went to Disney to see the holiday lights and the fake snow. Its just too surreal.

anyway, the big news is this. I'm the coolest person at my part-time job. I set up a private party for the female associates at my pole dance fitness studio. Even the girl that basically verbally attacked me one night is brown nosing just to get into this event. They are totally loving it, and well, let's just say not many of them could foot the 130 dollar deposit on their own. Little do they know that I am getting such a sweet deal, I will most likely pocket a good $50 for my troubles. YEAHHH!!! Everyone wins. Pretty sure I am even going to give extra to the gym and a substantial tip to the teacher. All the girls are just freaking out and the guys? Well, they all pretty much think I am the coolest 28 year old they know. (Like many 28 year old girls chat it up with 19 year olds....)

I also have the best haircut ever. I will try to forward a pic from my phone later. I drove all the way to tampa to see my stylist. I just love him to pieces. One guy at work told me again "Your hair is just AMAZING!!" And yes, you facebook followers, it is my 20 year old that says this. mreaowwwww!!!!!

work work work

As I watch Arthur, I see Kiera Knightly making out with Clive Owen in a nice steamy "we-may-die-tomorrow-so-let's-have-at-it" scene. And I think
"I wanna have a job where I make out with Clive Owen."

Then it hits me. It's a job. Do you suppose Hollywood actresses have fun making out with their amazingly handsome co-stars? Is it more fun when they croon pre-written lines to you first in a fantastic accent?

Maybe it's just fun before you get married. What single girl wouldn't want to make out with lots of hot guys? Then you get married and it gets to be a horribly portion of your job, right?

These are the thoughts that keep me up at night. :)

Laugh with me

Have you seen this commercial? I love it!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCNAlSnYOko

Bad Shoes!!!

So, today at the gym I wore my stripper shoes for the second time. They are 5.5 inches tall. Needless to say, I'm not so good at walking in them. Halfway through pole class, I head across the room to get a rag to wipe-off the pole. Halfway across the gym... one heel tilts sideways causing my knee to buckle. I end up sprawled on my back on the floor. Now, here's the kicker. When doing these classes, the teachers tell you to just try and make mistakes look like they were on purpose. If you lose your balance, act like you meant to take two steps and pose. If you throw up an arm to stop yourself, follow with a body trace. Yup, just rub your hands down a few strategic places. (Not something you want to hear mom, but most of these comments are meant to insight giggles and help the less coordinated ones feel a little more confident.)

As I lay there on the floor, a couple girls yelled out. "Make it look good!" and "Trace your body!". After staying down long enough to determine that nothing was broken, I rolled over and rolled up off the floor and true pole dance style. Unfortunately, it was really hard with a sprained ankle. It still hurts, but perhaps that was due to working for four hours at Victoria's Secret after that.

To get the full effect, here are the shoes. I will master them yet.

No go

Okay, so I've literally been messing around with this for about an hour. No go on the mobile blogging. I was hoping that I could get things set up so I could blog from my phone. Maybe some other day....

So, here's my story for you all:

At VS the other night, a couple came in and the lady was looking for a specific bra. We didn't have it on the floor, so she said she'd take one of our sale bras. I checked the stock in the back room. No go on the sale bra. I let her know that, and she showed me what she really wanted and I headed for the backroom again. I found her bra and while approaching the couple, she saw it and got really excited! She was so thankful she starting gushing praise and asked me my name. After I answered she stopped, looked at the guy she was shopping with and replied.
"You're kidding."
"No, why?"
"Oh, that's just his wife's name."
"Well, we can't all be cool, right."


Wait...... Did she just say wife?!?! Uhhhh....... I barely made it through the rest of the conversation without giving them grounds to get me fired.

People.

OMG!! I totally luuuv Yoga!!

So, yesterday in bellydance class this girl that I have been seeing a lot in my classes comments on how yoga is so serious. Uhhhh....Duh.

She thinks we should be able to laugh and joke, and then comments on how hard I concentrate. It's a stretching class where you are focusing on specific muscles. Perhaps they even state that this class is relaxing?

No, no honey, you are right. Go ahead and crack some jokes. It's so easy to remain in downward dog with one leg in the air while I am chatting about Justin Timberlake's new break up and Lady Gaga's new hideous outfit.

"Like OMG, Holy Cow, Can you believe it???" can be heard echoing off the walls..... I'm sure eastern monks did the same thing while trying to open their third chakras. "Dude, did you see Bill's new tunic? He wishes he could pull off that blue."

On my honor, I will try.....

I am going to start blogging. It is hard since I can no longer do it during the day at work, but I am bound and determined to resume my storytelling. And I have a new mission. OM appears to be in a funk for fall. I shall now get her to giggle with all of my wit and banter.

E's parents are in town. We went to eat at the local steakhouse. While talking, we got on the subject of online dating and E told a story about a girl who was not so good at "bonding". She would chat with guys online or on the phone and felt a "connection". One specific time left her in tears because after the first date, she discovered they like all the same tv shows. (No joke.) They had a second date and she slept with him. (also no joke.) He never called back again. E listened to her cry and then instigated a new dating rule. "No sleeping with guys for at least the first month." I began to mock the story and stated "I'm sorry, I can't sleep with you yet. I made a deal with my friend that I wouldn't sleep with men for the first month." As the waiter steps up to the table.....

"Wow, how long have you lived here?"
"A couple of years."
"Hmmm....."

I have no idea what me living in FL has to do with anything, but I'm sure the kitchen staff got a good laugh out of the story. I know our table did.


I redeemed myself tonight by not embarassing anyone. Well, except perhaps E since her BF was with us. LOL

Tacky!

Okay, so you all know that I love my gym. Most of you have tuned into the video of my teacher on facebook. I am horribly proud of her and the fact that I have found a fitness regiment that I love! One of the downsides is explaining to people that I do not take stripper classes. (Okay, so I am signed up for Stripper 101 on Thursday, but most of the work I usually do is acrobatic stuff.) Anyway, I will defend the fact that I am doing fitness work to ANYONE. But there is a small line drawn in the sand. Children watching me.

There is a lady that brings her seven year old son to pole dance class. SERIOUSLY!! He sits in the back with the stripper shoes, butt shorts and the anatomically correct blow up doll used for bachelorett parties (though he is tastefully clothed at all times...) He has a handheld game system that he plays, but sometimes I catch up watching class. He also shouts at the game in the middle of my Saturday morning yoga. I actually stopped working out the first time he showed up. I just didn't know what to do. The lady was new and I figured that the owners would say something to her. Well, two months later when I started up again, there he was, watching us pole dance. I have also heard stories about him darting in and out of the poles during classes. And here is the kicker for me: He appears to have mental issues. The noises he makes sound as if he has speech problems and the owner mentioned that he appears to be a little "off". To me, that would make it all the harder for him to process the whole scene.

I did talk to the manager and his mother has been told he is not allowed to come, but every class I have with her he is present. What is wrong with people?!? Why on Earth would you let a child watch pole dance fitness. That's all we need are small children trying to climb poles in the middle of Dillards and such because they saw mommy do it. Not to mention all of the body rolls, stripper pushups, floor work, and spread eagle poses. I just finished my email to the owner and hope that this is fixed. (I also heard a rumor that the lady isn't even signed up to take evening classes, she only has a morning membership which would mean she shouldn't even be in any of my classes outside of Sat and Sun morning. What a wretched hose-beast.)

Funk

That's what I'm in... a funk. Last Sat "my boyfriend" asked if I had any friends that were like me to recommend for jobs too. You know, mature, hardworking, reliable. Ideal associates.

(The reason he is called "my boyfriend" is because about a month ago I asked him if I could start coming in at noon on Sats to go to the gym. (he does the scheduling) He stated he might like to join my gym.... uh, not unless you want to learn to pole dance... The girl with us had lots of questions cuz she wants to try it. Later he commented that my boyfriend must like the benefits of the gym.
Uh, no BF. He then followed it up with a comment about how a pole-dancing, MA degree, VS part time job must make me the ultimate woman. BTW- This guy was out this week for his professional foozeball tournemant. No joke. That brought about the whole BF nickname.)

Anyway, that story put together with two more managers going on about how amazing I am this weekend and the fact that the only guys that are interested in me are douchebags made me think, If I am so amazing, why am I miserable in my life?

Seriously, my GYM is the highlight of my life right now. Rob called from PA. He really wants to come visit me... He's a douchbag. Jeff from TP in NE called, he really misses me and constantly tells mutual friends how amazing I am. Stupid boys.

This blog was pathetic. I am pathetic. I know my life is great. I know that I am a cool chica. I know that soon I will be home in NE with family, the timing is just off. But I can't help but think "Am I doing something wrong?"

catchup

Okay. So here is a summary of the last two weeks.

Worked almost 60 hours at 4C in preparation of end of year reports. Was bummed about the long hours, but I found out that I might get special project pay. (Yay money!)

Captain came down that friday. We went out to Ruth's Chris (literally, the best steak I have ever had in my life), drank at the dueling piano bar, and had a rip roaring good time on Friday night.
Saturday we woke up to a dead battery in my car and while I was getting that replaced we headed to Dunkin donuts. Off to gatorland where I started to not feel well. Five hours later I am puking blood and we head to the ER. Captain was nice enough to sit with my while I got an IV of fluids and anti-nausea and a shot in the left buttock to make me feel better. Highlight: if I got sick I was supposed to get a sample. Blech. I did not puke, but I did get a sample..... figure that out on your own. To let you know how sick I was, the nurse came back in 15 minutes after she took the sample away and simply stated " What did you give me?" Yeah, gross. Anyway, four hours later, we head home and I got up the next day and headed to Seaworld with Gabe. I survived four hours of that on gatorade, half a "ceasar salad", and two slices of watermelon. He headed out the next morning and I called in sick to work. They were okay with this, strangely. :)

Worked many hours at VS this week. Got asked by my boyfriend (nickname for a manager, a story for another blog) if I had any friends that were hardworking and responsible like me because they like having me on staff. Today, I also got told by a manager that I am awesome...

Yeah me. I rock.

Oh, and Talent Plus did more layoffs. Once again, I am very happy that I bailed on that sinking ship.

Ketchup or musted on that heel?

26 is the magic number. I worked 26 hours at vs this last week. Also, I worked 45 at the real job. That was more than 70 hours this week, and it ended with a bang.

So, I was scheduled more than usual at the pt job. No biggie, but the end of last week and this week are end of year reports for 4C. It is a stressful time for me and my boss, and we are now in charge of everything, not just one of the three counties. Friday after an uber-stressful morning, I got a call from VS, can you work tonight? "Well, if you need me, I can come in, but I have been there until midnight the last two nights." (Yeah, home at midnight, then back to the real job at 7:30 am, back to pt job at 5, etc.)

We just have some extra hours and wondered if you wanted a couple.

"Which couple?"

What time can you come in?

"6, but I was really hoping to come in a shop. So do you think I could leave before close?"

Sure! what time?

"We can just play it by ear, as long as I am out before 9"

Meanwhile, the evil male manager is working that night. He can be a really nice guy and then just turns on you and demands that you act subservient and do everything and more in addition to his first demands. At 8:15 I asked when I got to go home, his reply:
I need you to stay until 10

"No, I was told I could leave before 9"

aren't you closing?

"No, I was told I could leave early to shop"

Well, we will just keep a register open for you and you can shop after we close.

"Uh, no. I'm leaving before 9"

I left at 9:45 pm, after breaking down in tears in the back room . I had hit my breaking point. I knew it was coming and that is why I only agreed to a couple of hours. I lost it in a public place (well, semi public) and Jorge, the greasy-exec-in-training was at fault.

Then next day, the lady that asked me to come in found out that I was not allowed to leave before 9. She was not happy.

Then, my direct manager found out that I worked 6 nights last week AND that I was not allowed to leave on time on Friday. She was also very unhappy. Her exact words? "We will be speaking to Jorge."

Eat it Jorge. Would you like some ketchup on that shoe, or do you think you can shoehorn it out of your mouth before you are forced to swallow?

bwah-ha-haaaaa......

I am so evil.....

Ugly Truth

I saw the movie the Ugly Truth with E this morning. It was good and I hated it. Gerard Butler is me future husband. He looks rugged yet regal in all of his films. Whether he is singing down the rafters and stealing his bride in the Phantom of the Opera or the charming ghost setting up his wife with an old friend so she can find happiness without him, I love him.

This movie, he is "The man whore". (That wasn't me, that was the movie mom.) He informs women that to get a man, you need a tight butt, to laugh at his jokes, let him take charge and be a cross between a stripper and a librarian. He brings out the worst in his female boss (Katherine Heigl) but she is still herself. To get the charming Dr., she pretends to be someone she is not and then after a coaching session, the jerk turns, gives "that look" and watches her walk away.

I

WAS

HOOKED

In movies, I don't need the guy to give roses or moonlit proposals, just that unseen look. Mr. Darcy unclenching that hand he offered Elizabeth to get into the carraige as if savoring the feel of her skin. Hugh Jackman waking up first gazing upon Ashely Judd, taking a deep breath to smell her hair and then cuddling back in to fall asleep..... I could go on.

I used to use a shampoo that one bf loved. When he would hug me, first he would give me the big bearish hug before pulling back in to take one last smell of my hair before leaving to go home. *Sigh* But here is the bad part. MINE STAYED A JERK.

No, Gerard realizes that he loves her and though he does not change himself, he shifts towards a more charming and giving version. I just get the jerk. Seriously. I should quit watching movies. But instead, I will continue to date jerks and hope. I hope that someday, I will find my jerk on the outside, charming gooey filled center man of my dreams...

Seirously, I can't decide if I need a tissue or a barf bag.

Reprieve

Okay, so I called in to see if I had to work and YEAH, no work tonight.

Instead, I kicked back with a beer and The Bodyguard. Man o man, I wants me one of them Kevin Costners. When things get rough, they just pick you up, cradle you to their chest and carry you away from it all. No to mention dance with you, have a beer at a dive bar and take a bullet for you. I digress....

I have so many things each day that I think about sharing, but I am just to pooped to do it now. Here is a little sampler.

The ladies at work answer their phones in the bathroom. Have I mentioned this yet? It baffles me. One lady says that it is the only place private where she can talk. Really? The only problem with that philosophy is this: Stacey has a compulsion. Whenever someone is talking on a phone in the bathroom, I MUST flush the toilet at least twice, while they are talking. This ensures that the sound of a public restroom will not be drowned out by the other person talking. Seriously, how embarrassing. I have done it, I admit, but all the while I was praying no one flushed the toilet so I could slip out unnoticed to the other person. It's like I said to E the other day when another car cut her off "Honk! If you don't honk at them, they will never realize that they are stupid. Someone has to tell them."

If it just take someone to flush a toilet so people will realize the inappropriateness of this, I WILL BE THAT PERSON.

So very tired.

I just finished a 15 hour day. I worked at 4C for about 9 hours and then off to VS for another 6. Small business owning, here I come!!

I am actually excited to be getting some debt paid off and the people at VS (managers) are generally nice. Not to mention, I got it okayed to hand off a shift every-so-often so I can attend the gym. I really wanted to ask for three nights off a week in exchange for working Fri, Sat and Sun evenings, but figured I needed to take baby-steps to getting exactly what I want. I am going to be requesting every other Monday off for sure so I can do belly dancing, but I also got it guaranteed that I can have Sat mornings off too. (I will start at noon so I can take the only advance pole class they offer.)

I am so excited to start back at the gym. I miss the wonderful ladies I met and, let's face it, I am unmotivated without them. I also talked with my friend Katherine in Lincoln. She is down with teaching a ballet basics class for fitness. AND I have another gym member. My friend Jami, whom I had dinner with in Tampa last night with her hubby, is excited to attend. I believe that brings my total membership to four, and I only have a name for the gym. (I'm keeping that to myself for now!!)

Let's hope that all of this hard work pays off. Katherine said that she hasn't heard me so excited about a job...well, ever!

Also, I gave the evaluations to the ladies that I supervise. They have been extremely resistant to change and blame me for all of the problems that have been occurring in our department. (Long story for another blog.) This was reflected in their evals. Let's just say, they were not suprised, but they were less than pleased. I was very positive and hope that they feel things can only go up from here. The HR lady that sat in on them (since they are my VERY FIRST SUPERVISORY EVALS!!) said that I did a great job. I felt pretty bad at the end, but they have no one to blame but themselves. (Mom, I did get a "I expected it." from the one girl.)

Off I go into the universe of supervising, all the while looking for the black hole that will warp me to two years from now. I suppose I should start buying lottery tickets...

Wordless Wednesday

The Captain is coming!!

So, Captain is coming for a visit. I was trying to remember when I last saw him, and I'm pretty sure it was Christmas almost two years ago. I am trying to plan a fun filled weekend including Seaworld, Gatorland and plenty of drinking and reminiscing.

He will be here the weekend of the 28th. Also, I start back at the gym that Saturday. Hooray for pole dancing!!

That's all for now.

When you wish up on the pole...

Okay, so Vixen fitness sent out an email a few days ago. They are looking for instructors for a new gym they are going to set up. I know that I am kind of behind, but I sent an email to them anyway...

Oh, for OM and Nikki to catch up, I am thinking of setting up my own pole dance gym in Lincoln NE when I come back in a year and a half or so. How cool would that be? I need to get much more advanced, but I just think it would be awesome! Banking in on the college girls, sorority parties and bachelorettes by putting up a shop downtown.... I just think there is some potential.

I just sent the inquiry, but this is my first step to heading back home! There is so much playing into this happening in a year, except for the money. I am still trying to recover from some debt, but that's why I am working so hard at VS. Here's to hoping!

my big mouth

Okay, so just so you know, VS no longer hides the big bras below...

They hide ALL of the bras. A couple of years ago they decided that the store would be much neater if they only put 4 bras on top of the cabinet. 34B, 36B, 34C, and 36C. LAME!!!

There is a tiny sign on the top of the drawers that basically says "help yourself". What a crappy way to shop. They did expand sizes now. They have random sizes like 38B and 40C, but they still do not carry a band size greater than 40.

Today we had a meeting. I thought it was to learn about the new body by victoria bras, but it was actually about career development. Silly Stacey, she did what she always does. She just talked.

We were provided a list of positions in the company and were told to find something that we would like to shoot for as a future. I made up a little story about how I was not looking to be a manager, but wanted to become more "cross-functional". I loved presenting merchandise to people and putting together visuals, so I'd like to learn to be a visual tech.

Yeah, not really wanting to solidify a position at VS. Unfortunately, I spin a fantastic tale. Tonight at the end of my shift, the new visual manager came and introduced himself and stated he was looking forward to working with me to help me learn a new facet of the company. Eiy-yie-yie.

Mind if I play with your boobs?

Okay. Haven't been here in awhile, but I promised Sis that I would try harder.

I'm now working at VS part time, as I mentioned before. This has been nice for Ev's wedding present (no VS in Canada!!) and Hannah's post baby wardrobe needs. I sent them presents and I know Hannah loves hers.

The manager that hired me was gone for three months, but he is back now. He is major serious about measuring for bras and making sure all of the drawers and such are perfect. The mall closes at 9, but we never leave before 11 pm Mon-Sat. Yikes! The other night, we were there until midnight. That would not be bad for late night me, but I am working 45 hours or more at my other job these last two weeks. Adding on the 22 hours I got this week at VS, I am pulling 65-70 hour work weeks.

Here are some of the highlights from my stint at VS:

"Do you have knickers to match this bra?" -Seriously, everytime a British customer says knickers, especially when referring to a thong, I giggle in the back of my mind.

"Wow, you are really mature for a 28-year-old." What they heck is that supposed to mean.

"Why are you looking at guys, you are married." me:"Why do you think I'm married?" "Well, you are so smart and seem to have your $hi# together, so I guess I just assumed you were married."

Me: "Ma'am, you measure to be a 40DD, here is our body by victoria bra that I would recommend..." "I am NOT that big, I am a 34/36D. I will just get more of that size." "Umm...Okay" (Trying hard not to stare at her boobs, which were centered in here chest with at least 6 inches on the right or left where they actually belonged.....)

At closing some of the other girls were talking: "I am going to have to be more careful. He's getting smarter. I don't mind all the other guys finding out about each other, but my real man can't. I might need to get another phone."

two coworkers talking at closing: "I have to change my name." "Why?" "Just my last name." "Oh, did you get married?" "No, divorced." "How old are you?" "20" "You are kidding, that's just crazy!"


It has been surreal working with college/fresh out of high school kids again. However, this round, most of them have one year olds or are divorced... It's just weird.

A little song for you.

Power of Prayer

Okay. So I know that this person is not a fave of everyone who reads this, but I am asking that you pray for them. They went to the Dr for a sinus infection yesterday and they found a lump in their throat. Could be an embryonic cyst and doesn't feel attached, but they asked for an ultrasound today. At 2 pm, they got the news that it is not an embryonic cyst...and there are two more little ones nearby. It could be cancer, but hopefully if it is, it is not attached to anything. Results will not be in for three days. The radiologist stated that "I think I know what it is, and I know it is not an embryonic cyst. However, I am not a licensed diagnostician, so I can't say anything."


Please pray for Anthony.

Dancing Queen

Last night Kristi came up from Tampa. Her, E and I were all friends in college. We have grown apart from each other, but she came up for a visit. We went out dancing and on the dance floor I was out for a good time with the girls. Kristi and E thought I was rocking it more than usual due to pole classes, but I was just being my usual keep-away-from-me-while-I-get-down-at-the-frat-party self. Well, evidently I was doing better because this skinny guy with dreds behind me tapped his friends on the shoulders, pointed at me and said "Check this chick. She can move!"

A few songs later I was resting on the edge of the dance floor against a short wall when this guy approached me. He had been hip-hop/popping with his friends and had some good moves. However, when he came up to me, he grabbed onto the rail behind me and had a knee on each side of my legs, "trapping" me against the wall. It wasn't gross or anything, but I didn't know what to do as this guy started popping and bumping with me pinned to the wall. The only arsenal I had all night was the chest bump I learned in bellydancing. (That move where it looks like your chest is the only thing moving up and down.) So I broke out the chest pop and he backed up. Then we danced a little longer. Somehow I ended up in the middle of the group of guys he was dancing with, but E and Kristi assure me that I held my own. Not so sure that is true, but it was fun!

Stacey at the gym.

pole-licious

Okay, mama wants it, mama gets it.

I have joined a gym. It is awesome, I go almost everyday! There are no weights, no treadmills, no showers...... just mats, weight bars, and poles. Stripper poles.

I am a member of Vixen Fitness. I love it here! I take pole dance classes 2-3 time a week along with bellydancing, yoga/pilates, chair aerobics, and regular abs/butt classes. I wear knee-high black stripper boots with 5.5 inch heels and little spandex butt shorts. I've lost 1.5 inches on my waist and about 7 pounds. I am not yet inverting on the pole, but I can climb to the top of the pole.

That's what I got for now, hope that's what you wanted mom.

saddest day.

So, Katie, the best sister ever, mailed me an Eileen's cookie. My favorite is the chocolate chip 6 inch one with frosting. Also, one dozen oatmeal raisin cookies. She mailed them in one of those big padded envelopes. What she didn't know is that our mailman is the laziest most worthless person on earth (right after the garbagemen that don't pick up cans that weigh more than 60 pounds.)

I came home and the cookies (actually two dozen, one six inch cookie and three bags of licorice) were all CRAMMED in the mailbox. Here is my birthday present that the freakin mailman ruined.


To make matters worse, I cried. And then I called Katie and made her cry. Boo who

Happy Birthday Sissy

28. I just can't believe it. I would never have guessed that this year we would be 1700 miles apart with no plans to see each other. In high school, I'm pretty sure no one would have ever guessed we would live further from each other than across town, but here we are.

I really don't have anything else to say but, Happy Birthday Tautie.

First and last day

So on Monday I started my part time job at CVS.

And I ended it.

I showed up at 6 pm. I asked what the dress code is, "What you have on is fine." I asked two more specific questions about shoes and slacks, "No, really, what you are wearing works.
Strike one.

He showed me the breakroom. I asked how long I have to work to get a break. "Are you fulltime or partime?" uh, part time. "Okay, well you don't get one then." But how long do I have to work to get one? "Why, do you need one?" Uhhhh.... No, how long of a shift do I work until I get a break. "did you want one?"
Strike two.

Step into the office and he types my info into the computer. Asks a few questions and gives me a cashier number. This is 15 minutes into my shift.

Step behind the register. "Okay, whenever you feel comfortable, hop on the register." Uhhh... I don't know how to use them. It's my first day. "Oh, well it's just like Walmart, you'll figure it out" Okay. I get to watch for about 30 minutes and then one hour into my first shift. "Okay, Kim take a break, Stacey call if you need anything."
Strike three.

I am at the register by myself for half an hour. I THE FIRST HOUR OF MY SHIFT (Strike 5). Meahwhile I get a lecture about leaving my passport with someone(6). Not just anyone, the manager that needs it to fill out my I9. Then he argued with me until I ended up filling out my own I9 where is says "for employer use only"(7). I get criticism for things I have never heard of, not recognizing alerts on the register when they pop up in the corner and forgetting to put 20s in the little box off to the side (all while using a touch screen system, which I have never used)(more strikes). After that, I was told to go organize the store, just like Walmart does. That's it. Nothing more. I get more criticism, associates who just point at random aisles in response to questions and told that I need to take out the damages to the cooler in the back (ummm... we have a cooler in the back?)

I called the next day and quit. Then quit again the day after that when the actual store manager returned from vacation and could not understand why I quit. "I'm not sure what your training program is supposed to be like, but I can tell you it is not acceptable to me to be on a register solo one hour in to my first shift with the introduction to the system that consists of "It's just like Walmart."

Strike something short of 100. You're out.

Job hunting

I had two interviews this last Saturday. One was with CVS and the other Victoria's Secret.

CVS: The manager was very standoffish, just like on the phone when I scheduled the interview. Basically, she sat me down, told me she could give me $9 an hour (what I asked for), 10-15 hours a week, and I could probably start as early as next week. Oh, and I could walk there in 15 minutes.

Victoria's Secret: No $9 an hour, most likely I'll get $8. No 10 hours a week, they base scheduling on sales and credit cards. But the manager was really nice and well, IT'S MY MECCA!!!!!!

Seriously. I talked with mama and she thinks that my part-time job should be something that I really enjoy while making money. But can I keep pushing the card? From what I hear, you don't really have to push it like they did at ATL. ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!! I don't know what to do!

There are two things I forgot to ask each place: What are the discounts and how early does the schedule come out? Perhaps I can work both. VS may not have that many hours to give, so I can do two part time jobs? That would sure help out my finances and debt issue...

Mother Nature

I can't help it, everytime I see one of these commercials, I laugh.

Here is my favorite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3kugHmbNgQ

Perhaps this shall be my Halloween costume.

And made them cry

So Thursday we had our second safety committee meeting at work. They are very disorganized and I asked many questions in regard to why they don't have set policies and people harp on things they can't change. I asked the toughies like "Why don't we determine what the report is supposed to measure and then redo it?" and "Since none of us are certified to determine what is ergonomically correct, why are we trying to check this as a committee?"

I'm so mean. Seriously. Well, he had no answers, and for some of them he tried to outright lie. Too bad I had a whole barrage of questions waiting to catch him in the lie.

The next day, my super got a note that I am no longer on the team. Huh. Today I found out it was because I embarrassed him. Oh for Pete's sake. He's like 60. He should have known better than to do a half-cocked job on the report and then no problems would have arisen.

The funny thing is, my predecessor begged and tried to get off the committee for almost a year. I managed to do it in 2 hours. I rock.

people, people everywhere!

Last night I got a call from my friend John and his wife Jamie. They are flying in to FL today! Yeah! We are meeting up on Sunday and I think we are heading to Seaworld. Then, they are off to the night launch of the shuttle on the space coast. Good thing mom, dad and I went last fall, I am able to actually give a few tips. Like: view it from as far from the coast as you can if you want to get home in less than 2.5 hours. Also, I know that you need to know which launch pad to stare at.

Also, Rob booked his ticket. He will be here from Monday through Sunday. However, he is spending the first few days in Tampa hanging with some other friends. Then, a weekend trip!! (Somewhere.)

I just think it will be fun to hang with some people out of the ordinary. Yeah!

Oh, and happy birthday Brett!

The new girl said What?

I am making enemies at work. I supervise the girls that audit the files. We got a not so good state audit so guess what? I am kicking butt and taking names. Tomorrow I have set up a meeting with the trainer of the counselors (we audit their work.)

Here is a preview:

Me: "So the state said we can't take files like this anymore."

Him: "We are working on a policy to fix that."

Me: "But the state told us to fix it three weeks ago. How do we fix it in the meantime."

Him: "Well, I can't retrain everyone yet."

Me: "Okay, well I guess they will learn through the process of elimination then. The ladies are going to start auditing according to state guidelines that we were penalized for three weeks ago."

I might even add a "Bitch" on the end of that. It makes me sound much more serious...

:)

ATL SUCKS!

I quit. literally.

Ann Taylor Loft is a joke to work for. They talk about helping the customers and such, but I decided that the constant pushing of the credit cards and the hourly sales updates were not conducive to a positive state of mind. (Okay ladies, items per transaction are down so lets push accessories this hour!)

My last day is Sunday. Hey, I have a closet full of nice clothes (Seriously, they don't even fit in there now.) Not to mention about 5 clutches and several pairs of shoes. I'm just over the stress. Hopefully, I hear back from one of the apps that I put out to other places. My manager wasn't even questioning why I left. She just assumed that it was due to the low hours and I let her believe it. Meh. Now I don't have to request time off for when OM is in town in April! Yeah!

Visitor

A few years ago I took a road trip with my friend Meredith to her hometown in PA. She introduced me to her friend Rob and well, Rob liked me. We became friends through online chatting, had a small falling out (i.e. I got upset at something he insinuated and boys NEVER call.)

We got back in touch a few months ago. He is coming down in a few weeks to FL and wants to hang. He is renting a convertible and wants a buddy to roadtrip with for the weekend. He was hoping for someone cute to roadtrip with, but I hope he'll settle for me (my joke, not his).

Oh, and did I mention he is a doctor?

Too bad I'm not interested....

Happy Birthday

Today is Captain's Birthday. Not only that, but the divorce is SETTLED! All I can say is that karma rocks and he is all taken care of with enough left over for (hopefully) a trip to see his awesome friend in Orlando.

Also, Tina Shafer found me on facebook. Today her status was that she was "remembering my dad on his birthday." I didn't realize that was today.

Let's take some time to remember the great guys in our life.

I did it!

I just booked my flight home for memorial day weekend. It's my high school reunion! Yeah! I am so excited to see everyone. Too bad I already know who got fat, who went to jail, who is married (and divorced) and who hasn't changed one bit. Those who haven't changed would be by far the most depressing to see. I don't care what happened to everyone. I wish that I could report having done more with my life, but I suppose a MA and moving to FL would at least keep me from being completely boring.

Remember your reunions? I know it was only a few years ago for OM and Nikki. and Mama? she goes every year with dad.

I'm just so dang excited. KT sent out letters to try and get everyone else to come too. I hope we all make it!!

Wordless Wednesday.

And now I have caught up with Katie:

She's winning again.

KT is posting more than me, so I am now officially guilted back to my blogging.

I feel like no one reads this but mama, but if it saves her on the phone bill, it will be worth it.

The job is okay. I say this because I pretty much observe people doing their jobs or sit in my office reading policies so far. Blech. I have also learned that everyone is out to get me as a member of the research team. I am warned to not talk to this guy and avoid that lady and this one supervisee is problematic, so try and avoid an interaction with her....

I have also learned that people have babies and then try to dupe the state into paying for them. "No I am not with his dad, I only live with him to save on bills" Sorry lady, that is officially a two parent home. You want help, move out on your own.

"But I have residences in two counties, can't I file for assistance in either one?" Ummmm....two houses = rich enough to pay for your own freaking childcare. Yikes!


And here is my final tip for the day: Go see Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood. The man looks like death and can still scare the crap out of me. This facade, alternated with scenes where he reminds me of Grandpa makes the movie freakin amazing!! Also, Slumdog Millionaire. All I have to say is Oscars...Lots of Oscars....

Friday E (Now to be names Sassypants) and I are rounding up our most pathetic friends and going to opening night of "He's just not that into you" Sassypants and I have been looking forward to this for a very long time!!

update

I was hoping to make it home sometime before May, but it looks like I shall have to wait. The new job is looking up. I'll post more details when I am not procrastinating going to bed. Unfortunately, I can not take vacation/personal time for the first 90 days. Booo.....

I will be home for Memorial day weekend for my 10 year reunion. I also look forward to hanging with OM when she comes down with J's school's band kids. Yeah Disney!!

I quit.

Two things that I am quitting: Job searching and match.com

Ironic isn't it, that both of these were featured in my last post. I have accepted the offer from 4C and will start as their statistician on Tuesday. (Well, to start the paperwork anyway.) Then the joy of drug testing and finding out more about my actual job. I don't know much about it, but it seemed very interesting and rewarding. Doing it for the kiddos!!

Match.com is now officially a bust. My second date was almost as bad as the first. (Both were first dates with different guys.) Here are the highlights of the last misadventure. He tried to break the "touch barrier". He hugged me when he arrived, touch my arm across the booth while telling a joke, held one of my hands and then tried to hold both hands..... before the appetizers arrived.

I found out all about him. His family, sister, how many times she has been married, the four states he lived in and the fifth that his parents now live in, the two colleges he attended and where his new house is located (and the cost). He asked about and found out that I..... nothing. He only asked what I looked for in a guy. In an effort to lighten the mood, I said someone who has all of their teeth (thank you mama.) He followed up by asking for something not physical. He never inquired about my job, house, family, life, NOTHING!!! All he could do was answer my questions and let me know that he was better than my last date. Oh, and he talked about our future dates. Note to self: secure second date before discussing where we will go. I have E call and bail me out by saying she had a bad day at work. I have no shame and no guilt.

Creepy. Creepier. And I am not waiting around for Creepiest. I have been contacting a guy and will endeavor to meet him in the hopes that he is not creepy. However, I have little hope.

Match.com and careerbuilder.com results

So, I have been emailing this guy on match.com. He seems super sweet with a killer sense of humor. I introduced the subject of awkwardness through match.com in my first email to him and every email since has had a nice little humor moment associated with it. The first was that he had been "winked" at by a 67-year-old lady. Yikes! He followed up with this awesome first date story:

"My best (or worst, really) first date story ever - to make it short, I went out with this girl about a year-ish ago. I liked her okay, she really was into me - like overbearing, like the coffee guy you met from here [Match.com] sounds like! - and I could see she was all up and down, emotional, high strung, high maintenance, lol. AKA the kind of girl I tried to leave in college, haha.

So anyway, end of the night, I drop her off, she asks if I want to come in. I don't, because I wasn't that into her to begin with, and I don't sleep with anyone on the first date anyway. Well she didn't like my answer, and I leaned in to give her a token hug.... and BAM, she punched me right in the face! She didn't stop either, she kept on hitting me... busted up my lip, scratched my cheek, and gave me a two week black eye. finally thank god i got her off of me and ran back to my car faster than that Ussain Bolt guy in the Olympics. The kicker is, she called me the next day!! She casually said she was sorry she beat me up and asked *WHEN* I wanted to see her again. Yeah, let me think about that... gonna go with NO."


He followed up by proposing that if I could beat his story, he would take me out for dinner and drinks. If not, then he'd just buy dinner. SMOOTH! and kinda cute, eh?

Next big news:

I GOT A JOB OFFER!!!

It is a "conditional" offer. This means that they have not called my references but that they would like to offer me the position on the condition that they are okay. (Also, I have some training to complete in the first 90 days. It's pretty standard.)

This job is with the social work referral program that I interviewed with last week.

Wish me luck!! They hope to have me start a week from Monday! That means no down time from when my severence ends.

clarification

okay, so first of all, the job was not for social working. I thought it was, but lucky me I printed out the job description before I attended the interview. As I was on my way to it, I discovered that I will be doing stats for a social work agency. (If I get the job.)

They are hoping to make a decision by the end of next week.

Also, I am not planning on being a romantic partner for Captain, I am hoping to be a practicing psychologist partner.

Well, here's to job searching!

Job searching.

I am still looking. It is now to the point that I am asking people to quit asking how it is going. There is nothing like telling people for 30 days that I am still unemployed. Blech.

I will give updates, case in point.

I have an interview at 10 am tomorrow. It is in response to an app I sent out in December. Social Work. Go using my degree!

The goal is now to become a quality partner for Captain so I may be able to cash in on my plan to be a LMHP in MO eventually.

Looking forward to...

A few things have come up lately that I am really excited for:


The first one is the release of the movie "He's just not that into you." This is based on the book written by one of the male writers of Sex and the City.
Here is the clip from the show that started it all.

And here is the trailer from the Movie.

E and I have officially set a girls date for this movie release on Feb 6th. Yeah!

Also, the movie The Ugly Truth with Katie and I's hottie Gerard Butler. This comes out on April 6th.

But ladies, here is the big news. I am going to be in town memorial day weekend for my 10 year reunion. GUESS WHAT IS SHOWING IN OMAHA???

Tickets go on sale March 3rd. Think about it!

Oh and Happy Birthday to E!!!

S. Dangler, Published Author?

As I headed off into the insane world of Match.com, my friend suggested that I write a book about my adventures. Case in point:

My first date that I set up was a coffee date at Starbucks. We met at the Winter Park location, similar to the haymarket or the old market. Nice, cute, and plenty of opportunities to extend the date should it go well. He seemed nice and looked cute, in that shy, nerdy way. (Picture Clark Kent.) I walked in the door and well, Clark Kent looked much better in his pictures. I was still up for good conversation, but unfortunately for CK, there was no attraction on my part. Saying hello and walking up to the counter may very well have been the most awkward meeting in the history of time. The only circumstances that may surpass it would be the "Hi, I'm the woman with whom your husband is cheating."

I ordered my black coffee and he partook of some sort of sissy drink. I should have walked out as soon as he ordered, but I like my sissy drink every now and then, too. We sat in the corner table, surrounded by the big cushy chairs (both empty) and the table next to us was occupied by a guy with a laptop. As we started to talk, I tried to keep it light. Films, music, education and other lame background details. Everything he said was spoken with the same intensity that a doctor uses to describe a condition you were just diagnosed with: "Now Stacey, I don't want to scare you, but this condition can lead to very serious issues should you ignore it. I would suggest that you read these materials and if you would like, I can suggest someone for you to speak to about it.

Blech. I'm pretty sure he thought he was attentive and intent upon our conversation, but I felt that it was kinda creepy. In an hour and fifteen minutes, he mentioned that he wants to raise kids in Georgia, he would like to visit my home (the Midwest), and was really glad to hear that I like NYC. He also mentioned that he was in a place in his life where he is ready to settle down. About midway through this conversation, I felt like I was being watched. (Not in the creepy hawk-like manner that my date was, but more in a peering over your shoulder to see your test answers kind or way.) The laptop guy at the next table was staring at us and listening to our awkward, obviously first-date conversation. I nearly said, "Look, this is awkward enough, so if you would like to have a separate awkward conversation with me, here's my phone number."

Our date ended with his pitching of a second date. "I still haven't been to the theater here and really want to see Movie A..." "I have been meaning to check out the theater here..."

I brushed them off and bailed out fast. Good thing he had to go to work. I nearly cried on the way home. It was amazingly awful! When I got home, I waited about two days then sent him a brush off note. I just about gave up on the whole Match.com thing, but I always believe in second chances. (Well, almost always.)

Twelve Introductory Sentences

OM posted this. It sounded like a good introduction back into blogging for me. I am going to try and catch you up on my stories from the holidays and such too.

Here are the first lines from my 2008 blogs for each month:

January: Okay, so everyone is posting about New Year's and such.

It is obvious that I am very astute.

February: I hate the waiting game.

I was waiting to hear that I did not get into graduate school. A blessing in disguise...

March: Okay, quick updates:

Once again, did not blog much for a small span of time.

April: So, got invited to a wedding with lots of old friends in attendance.

I can't even remember which wedding this was. :/

May: I am getting used to a new keyboard, so if the spell check misses anything, it is my excuse.

Ah the thrills of my life.

June: Even though he is not here to fix my car, mow my yard, or tell me the best way to drywall my bathroom, I wish he was.

Father's Day. *sniff*

July: Okay, I'm back.

Nuff said.

August: Worked this morning at my newest venture.

The Children's Place. This was the only day that I worked there.

September: Well, as you most likely know, no hurricanes have really hit yet.

Never did get my hurricane.

October: I have just been off this week.

I said this a lot last year.

November: Okay, so I have this pair of birkenstock-like-sandals that I wear when I am feeling particularly casual at work.

Remeber the shoe fart story? LOL

December: I'm just not feeling it today.

Again with the depressed thing. Blech.

Some funny things to look back on though.